Elton John and Bernie Taupin formed a uniquely synergistic songwriting partnership. The pair worked separately, with John able to quickly put Taupin’s lyrics to music.
We basically got on from day one, it was just Kismet. It was meant to be and we got on like a house on fire.
We bonded on music and just a love of all things from literature to movies.
I can never decide whether Bernard John Taupin is a good lyricist. He comes up with some impressive, memorable imagery, like “You can’t plant me in your penthouse/I’m going back to my plough” in ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’. And his tribute to Marilyn Monroe on ‘Candle in the Wind’ is simple and heartfelt.
But, as we’ll see, Taupin had a misogynistic streak a mile wide, and he’s written some absolute clunkers …
10 Worst Bernie Taupin Lyrics
#10
Solar Prestige a Gammon
from Caribou, 1974
Oh ma cameo molesting
Kee pa a poorer for tea
Solar prestige a gammon
Lantern or turbert paw kwee
“We have so many people dissecting our songs in so many ways, thinking that we’re anti-religious, anti-semitic, and all this rubbish! So when we got to Caribou, which was not the best of our albums, we were so fed up with it I said, ‘Bernie, go write any old meaningless rubbish.’ So he wrote Solar Prestige A Gammon, but little did I know, the swine, five fishes were mentioned in it. So we then had all these other religious maniacs coming and saying, ‘But there are five fishes…’”
#9
Your Song
from Elton John, 1970
If I was a sculptor
But then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travellin’ show
#8
Ego
non-album single, 1978
Well maybe it was childish, foolish, before schoolish
Immaturish, lose your coolish
But I had to grow and prove my ego
#7
Philadelphia Freedom
non-album single, 1975
‘Til the whippoorwill of freedom zapped me
Right between the eyes
#6
Wrap Her Up
from Ice on Fire, 1985
There are ladies, illegal X’s
Mona Lisa’s, well connected
She’s a honey, she’s a tramp
Roaring twenties, molls and vamps
Is she foreign, legs eleven
Italian girls, take me to heaven
You pretty babies, from Paris France
Crazy horses, love to dance
#5
Whores of Paris
from He Who Rides The Tiger (Bernie Taupin), 1980
The francs flow in and the tricks say, “Please me”
Another lovely thigh says, “Squeeze me”
Mon cherie, my bed’s so busy
Take a Pernod, life’s so sleazy
#4
I Am Your Robot
from Jump Up!, 1982
I am your robot, I am your robot, I am your robot man
I am your robot, I am your robot, I am your robot man
I am your robot, I am programmed to love you, my serial number is 44357
#3
Dirty Little Girl
from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, 1973
Someone grab that bitch by the ears
Rub her down, scrub her back
Turn her inside out
#2
Island Girl
from Rock of the Westies, 1974
Well, she’s black as coal, but she burn like a fire
And she wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire
#1
We Built This City
from Knee Deep in the Hoopla (Starship_, 1985
Marconi plays the mamba
Listen to the radio
Thomas [the singer]: When the song went to No. 1, I said to Bernie, “More than ever, people are gonna ask what ‘Marconi plays the mamba’ means.” He said, “I have no fucking idea, mate.”
Page [co-writer]: Hmm. Marconi was the first one to send music across the ocean. I saw “We Built This City” as saying stop the corporations, we need to play music.
Thomas: Bernie didn’t say “mambo,” he said “mamba,” which is a snake. Marconi created the radio. Maybe Bernie meant to say “mambo.” Maybe it means: If you don’t like this music, some really angry snakes are gonna come out of the speakers.
from GQ
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I like #9’s lyrics, but the rest are garbage, you’re right! I wonder what the ratio of great to garbage lyrics is? Didn’t know Taupin was a misogynist. I guess nothing surprises me these days.
I like ‘Your Song’ but that rhyme always struck me very forced – like he had to meddle with both lines in the couplet awkwardly to make it work.
There is lots of sexism, racism etc in old music – just a reflection of the times in a lot of cases.
I didn’t know Bernie wrote “We Built This City.” Some of those lyrics are cringeworthy.
IMO all of those lyrics are cringeworthy. He had plenty of good ones too.
Grace Slick was embarrassed by that song. She once said something along the lines of “We never built any (bleeping) city.”
And from those quotes, the rest of the band were a bit embarrassed too. I’ve been digging into those early JA albums recently, but We Built This City kind of tarnished their legacy a bit.
Full confession: I’ve never been big on Airplane or Starship, as far as ’60s and ’70s bands go. Some good musicians, and Slick gave them a marketable image, but they lacked a decent writer. A few “nice” love songs by Balin; the Kantner-Slick songs were ho-hum. Those two songs Slick brought over from Great Society gave them a whole career, and one that went on way too long. But there’s no denying their popular appeal. (My San Fran band are the Dead.)
I kind of agree, feels like they had to scrabble up material from a bunch of writers to put an album together. But the prime albums like Crown of Creation are more solid than I was expecting.
I didn’t know he wrote We Built This City. I can’t stand that song, even before we get to the lyrics…
Yeah, it’s pretty painful – one of my least favourite hits from the era.
I mean, no one can write brilliant songs all the time. There are bound to be stinkers in even the greatest songwriters’ catalog out there. These lines, however, looks like a 10 year old wrote them: “Well maybe it was childish, foolish, before schoolish / Immaturish, lose your coolish.”
Quadruple rhymes are just asking for trouble..
True! And those lyrics are living proof.
Of all the lyrics with one exception…this stuck out to me: Immaturish, lose your coolish…that is soooo bad. We built this city…deserves it’s own bad section by itself.
Marconi was the first to send Morse code over great distances…I always wondered the same about that line…but the badness of the song stood out more. I guess my ship writing has paid off!
Sweet Painted Lady from GYBR makes me cringe every time. “Gettin’ paid, for being laid, I guess that’s the name of the game” Like that’s fun.
Yes, that’s a good call. You could make a pretty good list just from GYBR deep cuts – ‘All the Girls Love Alice’, ‘Jamaica Jerk-Off’…